Tag Archives: mum

Grateful for a little ball of fluff

5 Jan

Today’s Thankful Thursday post is unusually short on words.

As the saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand of them.

Just looking at this photo makes my heart melt. My smile broaden. My gratitude grow.

This little ball of fluff lives with mum. Hugs mum. Licks mum. Loves mum. Makes mum laugh.

She’s there with mum when I can’t be.

She lifted mum’s heart when it was heavy.

Today (and every day) I am grateful for…

Bella

What are you thankful for today?

‘Tis the season to be thankful

22 Dec

The valley view from mum's verandah.

This is a short post, as I’m preparing to head up to mum’s tomorrow for Christmas.

But I don’t need many words to express today’s Thankful Thursday thought.

I am…

Thankful that I was able to write that paragraph, on a computer that works, in a comfortable, temperature-controlled room.

Thankful that I have a job which allows me to take time out to be with my loved ones.

Thankful that I am in fact paid to take that holiday.

Thankful that my mum is able to live on top of a mountain, surrounded by clouds and eagles and clean air.

Thankful that she has met a man who has renewed her happiness and helps around the house.

Thankful that I have met a man who loves me unconditionally. Even when I cry after too many vodkas. Or roll out of bed with a blonde afro and blobby thighs.

Thankful to God for all these blessings.

Sara from Tis the Life has written a beautiful Thankful Thursday post. You might like to read it and leave a comment.

What are you thankful for this week?

All I want for Christmas is to not be a brat

18 Dec

I like to think I was a pretty good kid. Kind to my parents, helpful around the house, only occasionally annoying to my big brother. In truth, though, from time to time, I was a bit of a bitch. Mum and I had a close relationship. Unfortunately this meant I took a lot of my frustrations out on her. I dramatically stormed off on many occasions. Threw forks. Refused to help prepare dinner. The usual, bratty teenage girl ‘tude. I’m sure if I have a daughter, she will chuck as many tantrums and shed as many tears, while screaming ‘MUUUUUUUM!’ and thinking I’m being, like, totally annoying and unfair!

I’ve since grown up. I’ve moved across the country. I live on my own. I pay my own bills. I throw only the occasional fork. I try to be a good friend, a valuable team member at work and helpful to The Lad. I’m a respectable, responsible woman of the world.

Until I return home.

Then, the beastly bitch rears her ugly head. The horns come out. Try as I might, I can’t help reverting to my teenage self when stay at mum’s place. What’s with that?

I want to be helpful. I want to be a good daughter. Then mum will ask me to help her move a bed from one of the cabins, or set up a table tennis table, and I turn into an eye-rolling, huffing, puffing, foot-stomping cow. The worst version of myself.

Why do we regress?

To find out why I do this, I did a little sleuthing.

Apparently, the GFC left many 20 and 30-somethings without a roof over their heads, forcing them to head back to the nest. In a 2009 MSNBC article, clinical professor Dr. Marion Lindblad-Goldberg was quoted as saying that a return to home often results in regression. That is, grown adults move home and feel infantised. Their folks issue a list of chores, ignore their privacy and stay up at night worrying about their whereabouts. They then react the same way they did as teens – sulking, yelling and refusing to lift a finger. Guilty!

“Theoretically, by the time you reach adulthood, you’re supposed to be at the same power level as your parents,” Dr Lindblad-Goldberg said. “But it’s never like that. Parents can relate to their adult children when they’re away from home. But in the home, particularly if it’s the same home, the kid goes from being 28 down to 25 to 20 and ends up at 7.

While these insights are about adult kids moving home, it seems to be true for those of us who head home for the holidays as well. We arrive as equals, adults, and leave as bad-tempered, back-chatting brats. Why? Psychologists say it’s about repeating learned patterns of behaviour. Behaviour that gives us a sense of belonging. Within the family unit, we each play our role. A role we honed for years, learning what actions won our parents’ acceptance and those that othem up the wall. It “just feels natural to snap back into our well-rehearsed part.”

Is it possible to reverse this role? To be at home without regressing to our teenage selves? Psychologist Marie Hartwell-Walker says the key is being aware of our old role and stopping ourselves before we slip back into it. We should aim to act the way we do with others in our lives, such as our colleagues and friends. We should be our mature selves.

The last thing I want to do is upset mum or cause conflict when I head home these Christmas holidays. So I will be heading there aware of my regressive role. And doing everything I can to keep myself from turning into the bitchy brat I used to be (I know mum will read this blog post, so she can use it as ammunition if I do!)

Do you regress when you go home? Share your experiences by commenting below. 🙂

Thankful Thursday: cheers to my mummy

15 Dec

I’m joining in Thankful Thursday, an initiative by power blogger Kate Says Stuff.

I have a lot to be thankful for. My first few years in Sydney were a lot like a Luna Park rollercoaster – endless ups and downs and unfounded fears that the whole thing might not be bolted down and I’ll fall off! I now feel fairly confident teetering towards my fourth year in the big smoke. And I have my wonderful mum to thank for that.

Me and mum @ Garden Island

Here are just a few of the million-plus reasons why I’m dedicating this week’s Thankful Thursday to mum:

  • When I moved to Sydney and didn’t know a soul – mum helped me stick it out.
  • When I felt lost in my career and wanted out – mum inspired me to start my professional organising business.
  • When business got tough – mum lent a hand and supported my decisions to return to work as an employee.
  • When I brought The Lad home – mum welcomed him into the family with open arms. And laughed at how well suited we were, given our shared love for lying on the couch watching crap TV.
  • When she faced difficult decisions and events in her own business – mum powered up and took her business, Cabins in the Clouds, to new heights (pun intended).
  • When navigating life as a newly single woman – mum bravely stuck it out and transformed into an even more mesmerising woman.

Above all, I’m thankful that as each year rolls into the next, mum and I grow closer together. Hardly a few days go by without us sharing a giggle or a cry on the phone.

I hope I’m half the woman my mum is when I’m her age. She is a trooper. A light in my life. She is my bold and beautiful mum. 🙂

Thanks mummy xoxo

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