Tag Archives: insecurities

Monday Mantra – I live for me

30 Apr

If you read yesterday’s post, you’ll know that I’ve resolved to flip the bird at my fears and do more of the things I want to do. Regardless of what others might think. Because we can’t control what others say or do or think anyway!

So while today’s mantra may seem selfish, it’s actually all about empowerment. Giving ourselves freedom from fear. Allowing ourselves to pursue passions that might seem a bit weird. Letting our hearts soar. Without fear of judgement.

When we live for ourselves, we open up and can in fact give more to the people we love. We radiate warmth, we create opportunities and we live with love.

In the spirit of this, here is today’s mantra:

“I choose to live for me. I think and act on my own judgements, and not the judgements of others.”

Running…in broad daylight

29 Apr

 

Today I went for a run. IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. The computer nerd in me says, ‘DON’T WRITE IN CAPITAL LETTERS, IT’S LIKE YOU’RE SHOUTING!’ but I feel the sentence deserves to be capitalised. Because…

I RAN IN BROAD DAYLIGHT!

It might sound silly, but I have had a severe allergy to jogging in public, during the day. It’s so severe that it’s kept me indoors, on the floor, doing weird push up/bum lift/neck hurty things.

Call it low self-esteem. Call it an insecurity. Call it lazy. Whatevs. All I know is that the thought of running along the road has filled me with fear for as long as I can remember. It’s left me pounding the pavement in pitch black, hoping I don’t trip over a log.

I’ve always wondered what people would think. ‘Err, check out that girl’s weird floppy arm jog thing she’s got going on.’ Or ‘A purple singlet with a green hat? Bright much?’

Of course, here’s what they really think: ‘Must get to the shops before they close. Buy eggs, milk, meat…’ Or ‘I wonder if that guy really likes me?’

Yep, chances are those people are thinking about themselves. Just as I have avoided running in broad daylight because of how I feel about myself. 

But you know who loses out? Moi. I’ve missed so many sunny afternoons spent running through crunchy autumn leaves.  Today felt magical. Dark, thunderous clouds loomed on the horizon. The soft early afternoon sun cast long shadows on the pavement. The air was crisp and my legs yearned to run. So I laced them up and let them go wild. Weeee! It was invigorating! Refreshing! It was freedom. Freedom from my silly insecurities – hurrah!

My goal is to go for many more runs. In broad daylight. Up the street, down the street, around the block, to the shops. Wherever. The point is I’m telling that little voice to rack off and doing something that’s good for me. Because, you know what? I DESERVE IT (ok, no more capitals. Promise.)

%d bloggers like this: