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Today I went for a run. IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. The computer nerd in me says, ‘DON’T WRITE IN CAPITAL LETTERS, IT’S LIKE YOU’RE SHOUTING!’ but I feel the sentence deserves to be capitalised. Because…
I RAN IN BROAD DAYLIGHT!
It might sound silly, but I have had a severe allergy to jogging in public, during the day. It’s so severe that it’s kept me indoors, on the floor, doing weird push up/bum lift/neck hurty things.
Call it low self-esteem. Call it an insecurity. Call it lazy. Whatevs. All I know is that the thought of running along the road has filled me with fear for as long as I can remember. It’s left me pounding the pavement in pitch black, hoping I don’t trip over a log.
I’ve always wondered what people would think. ‘Err, check out that girl’s weird floppy arm jog thing she’s got going on.’ Or ‘A purple singlet with a green hat? Bright much?’
Of course, here’s what they really think: ‘Must get to the shops before they close. Buy eggs, milk, meat…’ Or ‘I wonder if that guy really likes me?’
Yep, chances are those people are thinking about themselves. Just as I have avoided running in broad daylight because of how I feel about myself.
But you know who loses out? Moi. I’ve missed so many sunny afternoons spent running through crunchy autumn leaves. Today felt magical. Dark, thunderous clouds loomed on the horizon. The soft early afternoon sun cast long shadows on the pavement. The air was crisp and my legs yearned to run. So I laced them up and let them go wild. Weeee! It was invigorating! Refreshing! It was freedom. Freedom from my silly insecurities – hurrah!
My goal is to go for many more runs. In broad daylight. Up the street, down the street, around the block, to the shops. Wherever. The point is I’m telling that little voice to rack off and doing something that’s good for me. Because, you know what? I DESERVE IT (ok, no more capitals. Promise.)
Hi, I worry about running in public too. I worry people are staring at me and thinking I’m rubbish. I don’t run at night though. I run at less busy times and run along a canal. I couldn’t run down a road or in a park – to many people! You’re right though, it is worth running during the day.I love sunrise and seeing all the wildlife. Keep up the good work.
Hi Lettice, I’m so glad I’m not alone! Your running route sounds lovely – perhaps I need to find a park or some water near me to escape the busy road.
Kat we are so similar! I have had the same fear of running in public. You have definitely inspired me to stop living in fear!
Yay! I’ve realised I base too many of my decisions on what other people will think. When chances are they’re thinking about their own stuff. Plus, we can’t control what people think or say about us, so what’s the point? So glad I’ve inspired you to get out there as well.